Itsy Bitsy Spider.......

so this is a half dollar siza BLACK WIDOW, in Braden's Garage

I captured it underneath this cup, ya they are strong it moved the whole cup when I let go

Mom told me to spray it with bug spray, but oh wait it didnt want to die soooo...

Braden decided to torch it... and that finally killed it...

We did it... it was very scary we HATE HATE HATE SPIDERS...

Engagements By: Laura Warner

A Mother's Love Endure's All"

My mothers day was great filled with lots of love. It was a great visit, we wend to lunch at TC Eggingtons. Very yummy. Evie was very giggle. it was Hillarious. Lynzie and Daniel call it her Teradacle cry. its way funny. i love how big she is getting... THANK YOU DANIEL AND LYNZIE FOR MAKING MY MOTHERS DAY AMAZING. Saturday was hard after leaving Evelyn, Braden and I drove up to Holbrook to spend the weekend with his Family, and it was a hard drive for me i felt like breaking down and did once... Sunday I had PLANNED it being hard but it ended up being a wonderful day. Bradend dad made Mothers day Breakfast and I was included and had some gifts to open and chruch was easier than I thought. My mother got me a beautiful necklace that is a heart that says mother daughter friend and a plaque that says " A Mother's Love Endure's All" she wrote me a very sweet note that i will alway cherish. I love my mother and all the support she has shown me even though this was her first grandchild she still brags and shows her pictures off to everyone especially work.

Birthmother's Day!

I am posting this a day early as I will be in Holbrook, Az with Braden and his family. I didn’t think this first Mother’s day would be so hard, I have been doing so well coping with my placement, but just today it has all hit me as I get ready to see Lynzie, Daniel and Evelyn for a Mother’s Day lunch, I know I will not cry, I know I will be happy. I am excited to see them all tommorrow it has been about a month or 2 since i last saw them. it will be a bittersweet day. I love my visits because i dont hurt when i leave i am sad but it goes away after a bit of time a small amount then i am fine. the goodbyes are never goodbyes but see you laters. The visits have helped me the last 6 1/2 months and made placement alot easier. Thank you Lynzie and Daniel for all the many visits. I am grateful that Lynzie is able to finally celebrate her First Mother’s Day, it has been long waited.. Happy Mother’s Day Lynzie and all the other Mothers and BIRTHMOTHERS.

Birthmother’s Day and Mother’s Day
On this day I ache. There is something missing.
Missing is Evelyn, she is with her Mother, her Parent.
My heart longs to have her back in my arms, to feed her and put her sleep, I know she is in a good home with wonderful parents and an amazing mother who loves her so much.
I am a Mom, a good Mom, One who gave her daughter more, gave her a gift.
It’s not that I wasn’t capable of being a Mother, cause I was capable in everyway imaginable, but Evelyn DESERVED more, a father and mother and the priesthood and so much more she gets from her family and extended family.
I am a Mom and Always will be. TWO Mothers will always love Evelyn.


Explanation of Birthmother's day:
Birthmother's day is a day to celebrate and honor our birthmotherhood. Its a day to reflect on the choice we made and the life we gave. Its a day to recognize, that we are good mothers who made the ultimate sacrifice for our children.
History on Birthmother's Day:
Birthmother's Day is celebrated the Saturday before Mother's Day. It originated in 1990 by a group of birthmothers in Seattle, Washington. Most birthmothers will agree that Mother's Day is a very painful holiday and these women wanted to create something that would honor their birthmotherhood.

6 months

It has been 6 long quick months, I cant believe how time flies.
As friends have babies I realize now that I have hidden my feelings and now I start to grieve the loss of my precious angel Evelyn. I never once have regretted placing Evelyn with her loving parents. She is a blessing in my life.
She changed my life, brought me back to church, and taught me the meaning of Eternal Families.
I am not sad of the choice I made, I just grieve, she grew 9 long months with me, the 3 days in the hospital were the most amazing 3 days of my life, to feed her and wake up to her cries in the middle of the night, to sooth her and watch her sleep. To hold her in my arms and never put her down. Many people told me “oh, don’t hold your daughter, it will be to hard to let her go” “don’t have her in the room with you, leave her in the nursery” For me having her with me, I got the chance to be a mother to her, to learn what her cries mean, to know what she needs and to just be with her and for her to feel the love I have for her is why she stayed in my room and I fed her and loved her.
As I left the hospital, pushed in a wheel chair with her in my arms, seeing Daniel and Lynzie, waiting to take this Gift from God home with them was the hardest thing to do. As I placed her in her carseat, kissed her goodbye, I knew it was not goodbye but, see you. I buckled her in kissed her and told her I love her, and that I will never forget her, that was the toughest time. On October 31, 2008 I meet Daniel and Lynzie at LDS Family Services with my Mother and Sister and the Birthfather to sign my rights. I held her, we all held her, said out see you laters, I talked to her and told her that I will never forget her and that I will always be her too even though I am far away, she will be with her Parents who love her so much. As I signed the final signature saying I was no longer her Mother, she opened her eyes when I asked her if she was ready to go to her family, she looked at me and I knew, I knew I was doing the right thing, even though it hurt so much. The overwhelming spirit in that room was amazing, I received confirmation of my decision and knew Daniel and Lynzie were her parents. There was no longer sadness in the room but peace and happiness. I know she was meant for them. My gratitude for them grow strong each and everyday.
Yes I miss that little angel every second of everyday, but what gets me through each day are the many pictures and emails of how much progress she is making and seeing the places she has been too.
The visits I get have helped ease the pain. Seeing her Dad feed her and look up at her with such love. Seeing her Mother get her to laugh and giggle makes me smile to big my cheeks hurt. They are BETTER parents for Evelyn Gisele. I love them and am so grateful.

Its Official I am Engaged- The wedding date 8/28/2009

Braden asked me next to Snow Whites castle. It was truely a dream come true. I waited a long time for this to happen.

Braden and Heather's Easter Sunday

This Easter i got to spend it with the love of my life Braden Hatch. Easter started with Chruch which I sang with the choir then came home and dyed Easter eggs to hide later that day. We went to dinner at his Aunt Hollys house where his Aunt Brenda and kids and Grandma Beverly was at. IT was a blast. the food was delicious and it was nice being around Family on Easter. After dinner we headed to Bradens house where he hid my eggs inside the house for me to find and I hid his outside ( yeah i buried some and hid them hard for him, we came inside to exchange easter baskets- I made Bradens easter basket full of soccer stuff, he had a soccer ball basket, soccer ball eggs and lots of soccer themed candy, In mine he made me where lots of jelly beans and plastic eggs filled with candy, everything was very girley, then in one egg was a note, he send me on a hunt around the house to find my big easter gift, he got me a build a bear. her name is Sugar Lips. I got Braden one for Xmas and his name is Fyghter. Here are our egg dying pictures.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter.. this year has been a very blessed year. I got my Temple Recommend, met a wonderful man, and got new pictures today of my little angel and they came in time cause i was having a bad day.

5 months already

Wow its been 5 months since I signed my rights as a Mother to give my daughter a two parent home. I seriously can’t believe its been 5 months already, where has the time gone too… there are many things that have helped me the last 5 months cope with my loss… I will just name five

1. My family and Braden
2. My loving birthmother support Group
3. Sharing my experience with others
4. The openness of my Adoption
5. Daniel and Lynzie for the Many email updates and many visits I have had with them and Evelyn

My life has been so blessed. I have continually seen the reasons why placing my Daughter with Daniel and Lynzie was best. She has a two parent home who love her (as much as her birthparents love her). She gets to grow up with the priesthood and many men surrounding her who are worthy to bless her when she needs it. She gets to grow up in a home where the spirit is so strong and where she has two amazing parents who want whats best for her. She gets to have an Eternal Family that she can be with Forever!!(PLUS she gets to see the world and experience all that I never was able to growing up.

Evelyn has been the best thing that has happened to me. She brought me back to the Gospel and to my Heavenly Father. I know the true meaning of sacrifice because of her. I will love her each and everyday of my life more and more. She will always know that I loved her and I gave her this GIFT cause I LOVE HER that much. I couldn’t ask for better parents for my little angel than Daniel and Lynzie. I am grateful each and everyday of my life that Heavenly Father led me to them. I am grateful for the love they show me and that they finally have a family.. Evelyn Gisele Allen I love you with all my heart and Always will. You’re my Angel. Thank you Daniel and Lynzie.



"A Birthmother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart"

Skye Hardwick
founder of "Life Mothers"

Enrichment Job

I am on the Enrichment Commitee, Fun lol... anyways I made the mistake of telling them I like to bake and have made 2 fake wedding cakes.. lol so i was put in charge of the RS Birthday cake.... So i bought a cupcake cake mold and my partner Katie helped, then I made 100 cupcakes and we decorated them for the Party.. well I got over zelous and decided to color the frosting and made 3 batch( 5 1/2 cups per batch) of cream cheese frosting lol then put fake little flowers on the top.. my back and feet were sore but everyone loved them.. i am kinda into making fun cupcakes right now.. next challange a cupcake cake (the one that looks like a sheet cake)

Growing up so fast

"I enjoyed a week off of work for Spring Break. We tried to take advantage of the extra time by taking a quick 3-day trip down to Cochise County with my parents. My parents own a little 5-acre lot with two small country houses on it, and they’re always excited when we go down with them to visit. We stopped in Tucson to eat lunch at the Old Pueblo Grille, and it was really tasty. Then we drove over to the Sonoran Desert Museum for the afternoon. None of us had ever been, and it was a really cool place. We especially enjoyed the close up with a Mountain Lion (he was behind a glass window of course). Evelyn enjoyed the 1st half and then just slept for the rest of it.

On Wednesday we went to a little Native American museum in Dragoon (don’t worry, nobody really knows where that is). It is back off of the highway but we heard it was a really interesting museum, which we enjoyed. Lynzie commented that Evelyn is going to go to more museums than she ever bargained for.

Evelyn has been rolling onto her sides much more and has taken a great interest in her toes. She also grabs anything she can get her hands on with the goal of shoving it into her mouth. She also decided this week that she is very interested in our dog Max. He gets lots of smiles from her. She would suck on him too if we would let her."-- the allens

exciting news

I am officially a business owner. I own Precious Cakes with one employee Loni Hatch. I have a blog address for it. Preciouscakes1.blogspot.com. I currently make fake wedding cakes, but i am gtting married and Loni and I are working on making a real wedding cake. She is making it and I am decorating it. ahh i am so excited.

the first cake i recently made last year for my friends wedding and the 5 tier cake was my first wedding cake. they are made out of styrofoam with real buttercream frosting and fondent. the 3 tier has fake flowers with pearls glued on it and the second one is on roudn risers with real roses.

Choosing

How many times have I heard
the word "choose" in this sense?
That I CHOSE not to Parent
a child of my womb.
That I CHOSE not to Love
a piece of my Soul.
That I CHOSE not to hear
his very first laugh.

That I CHOSE not to hold him
deep into the night.
That I CHOSE not to help him
walk his very first step.
What I REALLY did "CHOOSE" was
A family to Love him
as much as they could.
A house to be his home
with his very own bed.
A better Life than I could provide
In my circumstance.

And although I know that I can never have back
those thing that I've never lost.
I know that he has them.
And that must be enough.
To the parents who I "chose". Thank you.

Cherie Leonard, Nov. 5, 1997

Our First Race!

Today Braden and I completed our first race together. the 3rd annual St Pattys Day 8k Race. Sadly We finished last. BUT ITS ALL GOOD, At least we finished and didnt quit like I wanted to I wasnt prepared enough for it and didnt train, then the last 1/2 mile i rolled my ankle on a rock, I still ran in the finish line though, you cant walk through them LOL. Braden was a great supprt thru the whole race even though I complained that I didnt want to be last, in the end it was for fun and we had a good time. This was by the was Braden's first race and he DID GREAT !!!